Problems

 Growing up, problems to me were just math problems or physics problems that I was asked to solve and took a pride in cracking through the logic and formulae. Seemed like a challenge. I bragged about it, talked about it and yes the struggle seemed just fine - even when I couldn't crack through it. 

Later came life - problems of find a job, problems of finding a life partner, equality issues that dealt with, problems with my child - the terrible twos and beyond and beyond. Yea they were all challenges that I got to talk through to friends, forum mates, discussion groups and more. Really, they were challenges - not problems that lasted. 

Looking back, I can surely say that I never got chewed by the problems that I could talk about to friends, problems that seemed like every day things that everyone faced. Then there were problems that were just that - problems that I cannot talk about because that means a judgement call from someone - either I am stupid, I am a bad mom/wife or incompetent or whatever! Personally, I haven't cared about that either. Then came the last class of problems. They ate me, but they involved someone else. Talking about that would mean violating confidentiality, privacy and a whole bunch of other things that I don't have a right to violate. Not only that, I have  very little effect on any of these. Are these problems? How did I acquire them? Did I acquire them? If so, how come I can do nothing about them?

Finally, it dawns on me that the real problems are those that are not under your control. Those that chew you up without giving you a chance to fight against them or even getting help to solve them. 

This can only be made worse when you talk about them, you are asked to either shut up because you are being selfish and dramatic or because it is all your fault - you are weak, you did the wrong thing 100 yrs ago, whatever! Yes, this shuts you up and gives the problem a greater chance to chew you up - like a cancer! 

Given that I have no followers, no readers for this blog.. it gives me great confidence that there will be no one that would comment!